Heart Broken

I’m told I shouldn’t care. People quit every day. They move on and they get replaced. So should I move on.

I care too much, I guess. Buried in the weekly written recap of one of our restaurants today was the following: “labor was low this week because someone quit and we had to work hard throughout the week to make up for her leaving”. Nothing else.

“Who quit?”, I responded. “Why?”

Sadly, it was Thelma (changed name). 15 years… one of my favorite people. Someone who was never afraid to call me directly – once even during my 30-day sabbatical in 2011 – to tell me when things weren’t right. She was having her first baby around the same time, and I ordered her a crib as she was struggling for funds. I didn’t think twice about it. I loved having her on our team. I liked seeking her opinion when I saw her. She was always honest

She gave no notice when she quit last week. Called her manager the night before and said she had a new job and wouldn’t be coming in the next morning. The ultimate slight in this business. Damaging to the morale of everyone on that team and leaving a million and one unanswered questions as to why. There was no explanation provided. 15 years, I kept thinking.  15 years.  Gone like that.

I sent a text shortly after learning about it.

“Thelma, I just heard that you left Boloco with no notice. I’m so sad to hear this. Why after so many years did you do this with so little respect? … Please call me so I can at least say thank you properly for so many years. And it would mean a lot to me to understand why you chose to leave so suddenly…”

About 90 minutes I received a response:

“Hi John, I had a lot of time waiting for you to contact me directly, almost 12 weeks. Had many reasons to leave your company immediately without notice! If you want me to tell you everything that I have seen and lived during these last 12 weeks in Boloco we can make an appointment and talk about it !!! But if you do not mind just close the book and forget about the employee {Thelma} that I work 15 years and 2 months in the Wrap and Boloco. And that I love and appreciate and respect people and that they gave my family to eat. I want you to know that I never disrespect you or anyone, I did what God told me and for my good fortune I have what I deserve. I hope an answer soon and if you do not want to do it, I just hope they never deny me a good recommendation in the future. Thank you and wish you the best.”

Crushing. The exclamation points. The anger. I’m sure I’ll speak to her tomorrow, and hear about all kinds of alleged transgressions that will sadden me further (and cause my peers to remind me they told me years ago to stop worrying about such “trivia”). 12 weeks she was waiting… and I don’t even know about it. How is that possible?! There will be other sides to the stories I am told, I will hear those as well. In the end, it will likely be a stalemate of opposing stories. Yet another example of poor communications between human beings causing broken relationships… heart-breaking.

Why do we, humans, struggle so much in this regard? How did I miss this? Why didn’t she reach out as she has in the past? Was I really blind, even as I try so hard these days to keep my eyes open wider than ever?

The lives of human beings matter. People’s happiness matters. The idea that being part of Boloco hurt this woman in any way is crushing at this very moment. Despite so many efforts to create this special place where peoples’ lives improve, it too often feels like we are doing the opposite.

POSTSCRIPT: December 20, 2017

I’ve spoken to Thelma on a few occasions since she left. As is so often the case, it was mostly a series of pressures and miscommunications that allowed the above to happen. The good news… a union job in the cleaning industry at over $30/hour became available and Thelma felt, rightfully so, that this was the right move for her and her family. The bad news… the hiring manager told her she had to start the following day or she could not have the job. She and I spoke about the harmful consequences of working for people who ask others to treat employers of 15 years like this supervisor asked her to, but in the end, she had to do what was right for her family. We promised to stay in touch and we will. I hope it’s as good as it sounds. She sent me her first paycheck so I could review it and make sure there was no “funny business”… it appeared all was as advertised. The path to this happy ending wasn’t exactly straight towards the end, but nonetheless it was a happy ending.